Why embrace otherhood


For many years I was in a haze, thinking that my life would “start” when I fell pregnant and had a baby. I feared the times when my mind wasn’t occupied at work or busily doing “things” as that meant I had free time to think and I would always be thinking about my lack of a baby, that something was missing in my life … that I wasn’t whole. 

But now that I’m on the other side of my trying to have a baby years, babies don’t even come into my mind. And if they do, it is with a completely different feeling … kind of like I’m happy to not have had a baby. Which is SO strange, because I tried to have a baby for SO long. And I still have frozen embryos, so it’s a really bizarre feeling to not want to use them anymore. 

I even wrote a book about my baby making journey with infertility survival tips.


I have this excited feeling for all the new adventures life has to offer. I now see so many possibilities for all the things I can do, and I have the freedom to do them without having to think of how it might impact my child. 

When I was in those trying years, I never once thought that I could feel whole without becoming a parent. And now I know that this is my purpose: to help people who have gone through failed infertility find themselves again, without feeling shame or that they are lacking something, and to help them embrace all their future possibilities with excitement.

Isn’t it ironic how I have found my purpose has turned out to be as the gift underneath my experiences? And today it fuels me by serving my growth. Problems are what sculpt our soul, or in other words, the shit that you have gone through can ultimately lead you to a great place … the silver linings. Finding your life purpose is really about inner growth from whatever experiences have challenged you to rise above and move forward with excitement. And I can vouch by saying that shit feels good! 


My mission now is to start a global movement. What is the name for the group of people who wanted children but couldn’t have them, and not for lack of trying? And when people ask you if you have children, you could just say this phrase and they would instantly understand … with no judgement or further interrogation. That you are not childless by choice, you really wanted children but it didn’t happen for you.

Instead of #mumlife, I’m starting a global movement called #embraceotherhood. To embrace otherhood is to know that you did all you could to have children and you know that being a parent would not singly define who you truly are, that you are whole and complete just as you are. 


I want to help women release the shame around not becoming a mother and through connection I want to inspire them to feel excitement in living their best new life by embracing otherhood. No more suffering in silence or dealing with infertility trauma alone; by embracing otherhood we collectively seek transformation and new meaning.

I hope that this blog helps you see the end of your infertility journey as the beginning of your new epic life in whatever form that may be for you. 

I appreciate you for reading this blog and I hope that it helps even just a little on your unique journey. 

If you feel called to, please pay it forward by sharing this message to anyone in your cheer squad you know who is experiencing infertility. Infertility can be such a silent pain, therefore by sharing this blog you are personally contributing to the global movement by bringing more awareness to people who wanted children but couldn’t have them and not for lack of trying. #embraceotherhood.

I welcome you to join me by reaching out directly via or download a sneak peak of my book How to Stay Sane on the Baby Making Train over at

With gratitude 


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Hi, I am Bernie

Author and life coach to women who have gone through failed infertility and seek a new meaningful life.

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